Are You Done?

Seems to be the question we get the most as of late. Just like after you get married you get the “when are you going to have kids?” question. Then you have a kid and then it’s immediately “when are you going to have another?” or “Don’t you want another one?” Then when you end up having another one it’s the “are you done?” question.

I’ve learned through the struggles with having our second kid that these questions aren’t the best thing to ask. Want and can are entirely different things and 1 and 8 couples probably* WANT kids but maybe can’t have them.

But the answer to the question is still TBD for us… or it’s truly who you ask. Of course having a newborn lends to the idea of “yeah, this could be it.” because this phase is without a doubt hard. I went through this pregnancy not thinking that this was my last so the concept of “being done” isn’t easy to comprehend right now, but as a couple and family we’re going to give it some time and see how we feel in a year.

There is so much unknown and so many variables that aren’t up to us that sometimes we feel like we should quit while we’re ahead – but never say never.


I’m going to get a little political for a second and say that I’m quite disgusted about all the new abortion laws being implemented – it’s a woman’s right to do what she needs to do with her body, not some politician and their agenda. Let’s focus on overall education, family planning, sex education, making adoption an affordable option, affordable health care in general and raising the minimum wage so single moms or families living in poverty can actually care for their children. 153 million orphans nation-wide and each day 5,700 un-wanted babies become orphans (via UNICEF). 3 out of 4 abortions are from women who live below the poverty line.

Rape, incest and fetal abnormalities (no matter how far along in the pregnancy), to me, are valid reasons for a woman and her practitioner to discuss SAFE, personalized and private options which should absolutely include abortion. A vast majority of abortions happen in the first trimester of pregnancy via World Health Organization. Those that happen at 14 weeks or later are because 1) financial and proximity to services 2) fetal disabilities and/or mother is facing a serious health risk.

As we continue to develop amazing scientific ways to help families have kids (NOT the natural way) it seems counter intuitive to hold women to every single pregnancy. With the miscarriages I’ve gone through it’s part of a natural selection process that balances out our human race. If we make babies that maybe weren’t intended, then women should have the option/availability to have safe abortion healthcare services. Period.

Donate to @plannedparenthood @aclu_nationwide @abortionfunds @prochoiceamerica


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